Bit of a Rant.

Hey everyone long time no talk, haven’t really been up to much as of late, just the usual job hunting. Its really hard looking for a job these days especially when you’re in the pickle that I'm in... Not saying at unique or any thing it’s hard every hurdle I come up against bet he same in a word ‘experience’. It’s so annoying that no one’s me a chance, that’s all im looking for one chance. I would really like o get into the IT support area of the world, as it is something that I have done and enjoy doing, I love to solve problem and know that I helped that person. Silly I know but it makes me feel good, I love to help people its in my nature, but the way things are going at the moment I don’t ever thing Im going to get a job, OK Ive for quite a few interviews, but none of them have ended up in a job, I just don’t understand why. I guess I never will. I would really really like to know what’s wrong with me, am I looking in the wrong place? Or the wrong time? It gets me so angry, and I wont lie to you dear reader, ive come very close at times to causing myself serious damage, stupid I know but some times screaming doesn’t cut it! I feel like im drowning in time, like a river but it take s longer, I feel as if I m slowly wasting away, and soon I will be a husk of a man, with no propose or desires.

All except Charli. Along with God, she is the only thing that has been keeping me going as of late, even if at one point it was touch and go, I really do love her, and I know she loves me. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with her, it will be so awesome, and I just want that to start now. But it doers beg the question, am I missing out on ‘life’ if I do, or is Life all about being as Dad? Im not saying I don’t want to be a Dad, to him honest I want nothing more in the world. But I know to be a good dad, you need to have money (such is the way with these things), am I good enough for her? I know she loves me but will I be a good Dad? I really don’t know, and more to the point, will I be ready?

Any way ive moaned for long enough, so Ill go now.